mom's worry

Stihl called from Chicago, where he is competing at BPA Nationals to tell me he has had a bloody nose for almost 20 minutes and wants to know what to do about it......For a split second "mommy mode" kicks and I start thinking about flying out there to make sure it's ok, then I realize how dumb that would be and wonder if instead there is a Relief Soceity Pres. that I could contact out there to go take care of him. Still a pretty lame thought, then I gather my common sense and realize all he really needs is to hear that I love him. I told him to lay down for a while and call me back in twenty minutes.  He called back and we talked for almost ten minutes on the phone, (the longest conversation I think we have ever had that didn't include a sport or him convincing me to buy him something.)

My daughter who is away at college told me she had a bad dream one night and all I could like to tell her was that if it got too bad she could come sleep on my bedroom floor.  When she calls and says she needs a hug I want to drive there and give her a hug and make everything bad in her life go away.

I guess it doesn't matter how old they are or how far away...I will always be their mom, it never ends.  For that I am eternally grateful.

Love, Mom

random

How cute is this?  It is a lego Woody from Toy story.  Ha I just wanted a picture to put on to make my post look more interesting but since our computer problem we have not loaded more pictures back on so this is all I have to work with.
So my weigh in this week is 152.2 the same as last week.  But I have started running again so it should change next week, hopefully.
I love not having to go to work every morning but I haven't done any more than put my hair in a pony tail all week, so I need to make that more of a priority.

bad day

Today was a particularly bad day...I got my visa bill, and what I thought was only 300 was really 800 and because I didn't request a paper bill the automatically send an email one...so I didn't know I had received a bill for April therefore I didn't pay it. So my husband got a phone call from them today telling them that I need to pay the amount owed by Tuesday.  He didn't even know I had a balance on this card let alone such a large one. 
I really messed up again and I don't even understand how it happened.  It was just one little thing at a time I guess.
There is no excuse for it but now I get the "I'm so disappointed" treatment and for at least the next six months anytime we can't go do something fun it's going to be because mom can't take care of the money..... I just want to bury my head in the sand and forget about all my troubles.

Red Heads

A little message out there to all those who think it's funny to refer to red-heads as gingers and say they don't have a soul.  I would just like to say, think before you speak.....words are hurtful and name calling no matter how funny everyone thinks it is, is wrong.  Even when the person you are calling the names to laughs with you, inside they are hurting and they will probably go home and cry......

Dieting

I haven't got on the scale for about two months...I knew I wasn't exercising and I had been eating alot of junk so I knew it would be bad.  I got on this morning and I am not happy with myself.... So this will be my record of weekly weigh-in, food intake and exercises...I only have one follower so it's not like I have to worry about what others think of me.  I know my follower will love me no matter how awful I am at dieting....:)
Weigh-in: 154.6 lbs
Walked 1 mile tonight
Breakfast;  half grapefruit, ten saltine crackers.
Lunch; chicken fettichini,
Snack; three handfuls of carmel popcorn.
Dinner; spaghetti and steamed califlower.
Pretty good if I say so myself,  although I felt like I was starving all day...

Teachers

Meeting with one of my kids teachers this morning....why is we feel the need to fight for them?  I wish teachers could see the potential I see in them.  Can't I send them to school and expect them to be treated like they already are the best they can be.....don't judge them, or make them feel less than they are. Help to build and shape them, just accept them and sit back and watch all that they become.

What to wear

When my kids were little and I stayed home with them all day, I didn't see much sense in getting all dressed up when I went out.  I was presentable my hair was done and my clothes clean.  But when I would go to the school to watch them in a play or put on a program I felt self conscious about my looks.
Once I started working I loved getting dressed up in my dress pants and nice button up shirt, I liked hearing my heels click as I walked out the door.  I felt more confident, I thought people could see who I really was meant to be.
As I have gained more wisdom.  I see who I am meant to be.  A mom, which I know see as the greatest calling in the world..... I would love to trade all those days in a suit for more days in jeans and a t-shirt spent watching over my kids.
I realize now it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me,  I only have to answer to myself....I want to look in the mirror and see my hair in a ponytail, my jeans muddy from working in my garden, flour on my shirt from the bread I baked and took to my sisters I visit teach and a glow in my eyes because I finally know my mission on this earth.