bad day

Today was a particularly bad day...I got my visa bill, and what I thought was only 300 was really 800 and because I didn't request a paper bill the automatically send an email one...so I didn't know I had received a bill for April therefore I didn't pay it. So my husband got a phone call from them today telling them that I need to pay the amount owed by Tuesday.  He didn't even know I had a balance on this card let alone such a large one. 
I really messed up again and I don't even understand how it happened.  It was just one little thing at a time I guess.
There is no excuse for it but now I get the "I'm so disappointed" treatment and for at least the next six months anytime we can't go do something fun it's going to be because mom can't take care of the money..... I just want to bury my head in the sand and forget about all my troubles.

Red Heads

A little message out there to all those who think it's funny to refer to red-heads as gingers and say they don't have a soul.  I would just like to say, think before you speak.....words are hurtful and name calling no matter how funny everyone thinks it is, is wrong.  Even when the person you are calling the names to laughs with you, inside they are hurting and they will probably go home and cry......

Dieting

I haven't got on the scale for about two months...I knew I wasn't exercising and I had been eating alot of junk so I knew it would be bad.  I got on this morning and I am not happy with myself.... So this will be my record of weekly weigh-in, food intake and exercises...I only have one follower so it's not like I have to worry about what others think of me.  I know my follower will love me no matter how awful I am at dieting....:)
Weigh-in: 154.6 lbs
Walked 1 mile tonight
Breakfast;  half grapefruit, ten saltine crackers.
Lunch; chicken fettichini,
Snack; three handfuls of carmel popcorn.
Dinner; spaghetti and steamed califlower.
Pretty good if I say so myself,  although I felt like I was starving all day...

Teachers

Meeting with one of my kids teachers this morning....why is we feel the need to fight for them?  I wish teachers could see the potential I see in them.  Can't I send them to school and expect them to be treated like they already are the best they can be.....don't judge them, or make them feel less than they are. Help to build and shape them, just accept them and sit back and watch all that they become.

What to wear

When my kids were little and I stayed home with them all day, I didn't see much sense in getting all dressed up when I went out.  I was presentable my hair was done and my clothes clean.  But when I would go to the school to watch them in a play or put on a program I felt self conscious about my looks.
Once I started working I loved getting dressed up in my dress pants and nice button up shirt, I liked hearing my heels click as I walked out the door.  I felt more confident, I thought people could see who I really was meant to be.
As I have gained more wisdom.  I see who I am meant to be.  A mom, which I know see as the greatest calling in the world..... I would love to trade all those days in a suit for more days in jeans and a t-shirt spent watching over my kids.
I realize now it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me,  I only have to answer to myself....I want to look in the mirror and see my hair in a ponytail, my jeans muddy from working in my garden, flour on my shirt from the bread I baked and took to my sisters I visit teach and a glow in my eyes because I finally know my mission on this earth.

Malad Lyrical

Malad Comp. cont.

Malad comp

Dance Comp

Spent the majority of the day Saturday sitting at a dance competition, I love seeing all the fun costumes and dances. Here is a few videos of my daughter's team...I have not heard yet if they won anything.

Why?

My decision to come home has not been an easy one and to be quite honest I'm sceptical about whether or not it will really work out.  Which shows my lack of faith....I couldn't have made this leap without the guidance and help from my Heavenly Father.  Someone once told me... "sometimes the spirit hits you with snowballs to get you to see the way you should go and sometimes it is more like an avalanche that puts you on the path you should be on".  So mine was just like an avalanche...the snowballs had been hitting me for over a year, and I ignored them.  Then last weekend while listening to General Conference the wall of snow from my avalanche hit me full force.  So I took a leap of faith and gave my notice at work.  Now I have to figure out how we are going to make this happen.........